Grandpas and Fishing

Fishing With My Grandpa

November 13, 2020

Ducky caught her very first fish yesterday. Your youngest aunt just started fishing. It reminded me of all the time I spent fishing with your moms. Ask them about it. Then tell them to take you fishing. Don't stop asking until they give in. 

My granddad (and your great-great-grandfather) and I were really close. We would spend long hours together fishing. We would start early and sometimes stay out until early the next day. It was never really about fishing. Most of our time was spent talking. Sometimes we cried. We often asked questions for which we didn't have any answers. We sometimes laughed about stupid stuff until our bellies and faces hurt. The best thing we did was to listen very carefully. I loved that man. He loved me. We never doubted that. Even when miles separated us and we couldn't be together, we would write one another letters. And if we had extra money we would call one another. (It's a long story but calling a person in a different city used to cost a lot of money).

So what's the point of this? 

1. You need to have a special someone you can talk to. We have more ways to talk than ever but people seem less connected. Loneliness is a problem for everyone at some point. It's never just you. Be the person who starts it. The risk of rejection is smaller that the shame of silence. Don't be ashamed of tears. Don't be afraid to laugh out loud and be ridiculous. Have a person who will carry your secrets to their grave. 

2. As long as I'm alive, you have a place to turn. I'm no great man but I promise to love you no matter what you've done or how badly you think you screwed up. Peepaw will never stop loving you. Ever. I will never be ashamed to call you my own and I will use the last bit of my strength to protect and promote you. My love for you is not based on how you perform or how you look. I love you because you're mine. 

3. Show other people the respect of listening. Listening has always been a great way to respect others. But listening will be entirely different for your generation. Through smartphones, there is more competition for people's attention than ever. If you're one of the few who has the discipline to put your phone down, look at another person in the eye and just listen you will build incredible emotional currency with that person. Be that person who is willing to listen with focused attention. Remember this: for the rest of your life, you will be dealing with people. Own the superpower of listening.

4. Learn how to fish even if just for small fish. Besides being a lot of fun, it's a great way to spend time with someone. It's a way to get out of your head and experience some of the more beautiful areas in the world.  Shared experiences are pure gold. Be rich in relationships.